i took an early lunch today and came late to work...ironically doing one thing early leads to doing another thing late ! life is an irony.

so coming late has become a habit for me...i have just not been able to put my mind to anything. Last week, i told my boss what i have been going through...not sure how much he grasped of the whole thing, but he did seem concerned. he is a nice guy, a good human being, which is really important these days. in fact, i found out that telling people about what i am going through is really not that difficult. its more difficutly to make them understand the seriousness of the situation.

read a beautiful line the other day which sums of the male psyche -

"The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness and greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self interest are traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first they love the produce of the second?" - James Dean.

its so true. its so tough being a good guy these days if u wanna reach the top. thats why i would ve always loved to be a sportsman than live in this corporate world. an individual sportsman like a sprinter, a high jumper, a tennis player doesnt have to worry about all the corporate bull**** that one has to go through. all he needs to worry about is the finish line...getting there first !

i am nearing a really crazy phase in my life right now - stuck in an equilibrium, not knowing where to go and what to do. the other day, i just stood in the rains at night with a completely blank look on my face and the tune of Immortal playing in my mind. Oh, i wanted some grass so badly at that moment.

saw forrest gump again (yes, again ! ) last night. what an absofukenlutely amazing movie ! sums up life in a brilliant way.


back to work now (read staring at the screen)....later.  ¶ 14:15